Behind the ‘gram


Don’t let this photo fool you.

This past month has been a particularly clumsy one for me. I have missed a step walking down stairs and muffed up my knee; I’ve walked into corners, door knobs; bumped my head on counter tops, and cupboard handles. I jammed my toe into my mat when I did a jump-through without bringing awareness to my feet. The piece de resistance was when I pulled a muscle in my back during another practice because I inhaled during a moment of engagement when I should have exhaled allowing for space.

As I write this, sitting on my couch, having 4 of my classes subbed so I can heal… it is clear that I need to step back, and re-evaluate things.

The first thing that comes to mind is – my career. I LOVE teaching yoga. What does a yoga teacher do when he/she gets sick (which is rare) or is injured? Sick days are not the same for fitness and wellness instructors. No classes means no income which is only a jarring reality when forced to take time off work due to illness or injury.

I also LOVE volunteering in the Filipino community. Aside from teaching, I have been spending my time with an amazing team to help my Filipino folk dance troupe through a transition to help continue it’s 43 year long legacy.  What is very clear, is that I need to become more financially literate so I can feel more secure in the face of change that is out of my control.

The second thing that comes to mind is – my personal practice. The last two clumsy acts were during my personal practice on the mat. Recently, I’ve gotten back into a Mysore practice because I missed the moving meditation one can connect to within the practice. When I was in India and honoured the traditional Ashtanga Primary Series, I felt the most balanced. It’s been two years since that was part of my regular routine and a lot has changed. Being an aerial yoga instructor, I have built more strength so the Primary Series feels different physically. In an effort to find balance, I overshot and am now forced to spend time under this light of healing instead.

Two very important thoughts came up because of my last bout of clumsiness:

  1. How can a yoga instructor that dedicates their time to teach multiple classes per week and volunteer within their community save for a future?
  2. Does my personal practice need a makeover?

The coming months are going to be interesting as I explore answers to these questions. Would love to hear some feedback and thoughts on these topics – feel free to chime in with a comment below 🙂


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