During a moment of reflection, the two words listed above came to mind. Ever since I wrote these words down on my board, I have felt compelled to chime in on matters that affect me, when in the past, I have dismissed how I felt out of fear and insecurity.
The first time I decided to really speak up was when a friend had shared a blog post. It triggered an emotion within me, but rather than dismissing how I felt about it, I decided to chime in. My fear in the past was: what if I upset someone I respect? What if I start something that I do not know how to handle if it gets out of hand? What if what I say sounds stupid?
All of these “what ifs”, and no, “what are the possibilities”?
This is still a fairly new approach for me so please bear with me as I work through it – my goal is to have a stronger, more healthy relationship with myself so I can one day build a happy and healthy home.
More recently, there was an interaction where I decided to SPEAK UP, and the response I received was less than favourable. Even though we were not heard nor respected by said individual; at the end of the day, I stayed true to myself and my friend (who was objectified). What was interesting about the interaction was that the subject was certain that I was not at peace with myself and had ill will towards men. If I had not been working on building a stronger relationship with myself, the whole thing would have had me apologizing and appeasing the individual who was not happy with me, simply to make peace.
We cannot control what other people say, think, feel or do. We can share our thoughts on the matter and that’s pretty much it. When I was younger, there was a little drawing and saying that I would tag my binders, letters to my friends and my notebooks with:
Never before did I think the younger me, was trying to tell me something…